John Wall: “Suicide seemed like the only option, I almost had my leg amputated”

John Wall. John the… wall. This (his) wall he had to tear down to escape from his darkness.

The 2010 NBA draft pick, the player who banked $230 million from contract earnings alone, has reached the point where he’s only looking at the bottom of the well. Being in a cramped chamber without oxygen. He doesn’t want to live anymore.

“Everything happened very quickly for me“, he said in the text he wrote in s’ Tribune entitled “I’m still here”, explaining that “In three years I was no longer at the top of the world, but lost almost everything that was important to me“.

The two events that shaped him were, on the one hand, the serious injury to Achilles, from which “KI ended up with such a bad infection from the surgeries that I almost had to have my leg amputated” and on the other hand the death of his mother from breast cancer. Or his best friend. That’s how he saw her himself. His father had died when he was 9. He also from cancer. He doesn’t remember him outside of prison, he was a , when he was sentenced to prison, and was only released before his death to say goodbye to his family.

So all the burden of raising a stubborn toddler was on her. He owes it to her that he fell and rose again. In the strength that she gave him before and after her flight into the other life.

“I know exactly who I am and what I stand for and how many need to hear it. So I’m not afraid to say I was in a place so dark that suicide seemed like the only option. We shouldn’t even say that word, should we? It’s almost taboo, especially in the society I come from‘ he continued in his shocking confession.

Luckily for him, for his life and for everyone who cared about him, he got on his feet. He broke the mirror and saw his reflection shatter into pieces. He had to face his ego again. He did it for her who was gone.

“He was the most honest person in the world. He had a millionaire son and continued to shop out of habit, work out of habit, wake up at four out of habit. She was a force of nature. And then he got sick. She fought hell (…) What hurt me the most was when I instinctively picked up the phone to call her and found there was no one on the other end. All my life we ​​talked to each other six or seven times a day. Then thoughts raced through my head“.

Coupled with the fact that the wizards wanted to trade him. He tried to hide his pain, it was impossible. “One night when I was alone and my mind was racing, I came as close as I could get to making an unfortunate decision to leave this earth. It is only by the grace of God and the love of my sons that I am still here“.

When he reached an impasse, an inner force made him reconsider. “I need help. Those words changed my life‘ he concluded in his chilling note.